guitar xx

Finger picking the unfingerpickingable. WTF? It's like breathing in the sand.

................................. this sucks....................................................................

I want need this so bad.

Taylor Big Baby

Getting a Taylor Baby would be stupid, I've got a 1/2 size classical Ebay one. Can't use full size Taylor. This one would be perfect! Only thing is it costs 400 pounds. Mati tak makan aku.

T_T

nak guitar tp duit tak cukup

adoi sangap nye nak main gitar. If I know my calluses better they tend to soften if I let 'em rest for too long. They're gonna hurt when I get back for sure. Oh guitar oh guitar.

Dh la tengah sale skarang duit pulak tak cukup. Nak guitar okay, sakit la tangan main gitar kapok ni. Macam mane nak cukop duit ni?

a) Cancel gym tp nanti gumok.
b) Starve for 2 months (bagus boleh kuruskan badan)
c) Jual badan (haram!)
d) Curik guitar orang.

Haih boxing day ntah kemane nafsu shopping ku dh hilang. Dalam kepale asyik fikir nak:

a) guitar
b) Egypt electives
c) kawen? aiyoyoooo lagi duit takde....
d) rumah
e) kete
f) hutang YT and Mara

Aiyo dh la bil letrik dah  naik, bil tepon dh naik apehal sme bil naik nih. If I know adulthood (am I in it yet?) is this horrible, I wouldn't be in a hurry to grow up!

SHE messaged me on Youtube!

Marnee OMG OMG

macam tahap pakcik Mckee!!. I've got tickets for his show in Brizzle in Feb! can't wait.

Now I feel like I want to play guitar until putus jari. Sedikit obsession di situ but rasenye I like guitars more than some people. Especially some people. Let me put this politely to you.

a) Grow up
b) Stop throwing tantrums
c) Stop using people
d) Stop being selfish


Please pretty please with sugar on top?

I am such a mean girl. Takpe 1st Jan nnt saye tukar jadi good girl.

nak main guitar nak main guitar nak main guitar. Let me be.

xx

Hello Stranger

Hello stranger, let me tell you something.

THE WORLD IS IMPERFECT. If you go through it expecting perfection, you're in deep shit.

And the pretty scenes cannot be real if you don't hold the brush properly.

I prefer riding the rough waves, and gasp for breath when I have the chance then drowning and pretending that I am not.

Sunfeet by Eisley

" I don't know, I can't contain my heartbeat,
  I am dancing, shrouded by green trees,
  I am whirling, wearing my sunfeet,
  And lulling children to sleep"

This is such a great band.

I am such a sucker for girls who can play the guitar.

And look at this girl! She's amazing! I cry when I compare myself to her. Clumsy fingers T_T




xx

Inspired, Inspiration, Inspire, EXPIRED

Last Sunday, I had my first "jamming session". We played 2 songs Where ever You Will Go by The Calling and There She Goes by The LAs complete with lead, rhythm and base guitars. Such a dear diary moment, I think playing together is so much more fun than playing solo.


Finger picking is going great, C and F chords sound nicer now, not using capo at all, learnt 4 songs in 4 days, managed to figure out Unintended intro (with help) okay I'm not going too bad I suppose.

It's hard to be inspired when you're stuck here. All I can see is snow, deers, ambulances, dying patients, dead patients, overpriced hospital food, the need to speak in English 24/7...... aku nak cakap bahasa melayu lah skarang.

Tadi mase ward round, ade this lady, umur baru 28 tahun, just diagnosed with NK T cell lymphoma in the summer. Besar kemungkinan will be dead minggu ni. Tapi kenape aku tak rase sedih? Tak rase kesian pun. Last year, aku nangis tg pakcik tu mati atas stretcher (tapi mase tu first day medicine and surgery bengong punyer doktor suro aku ikut tgk pakcik yg dh mati watpe, what can i possibly learn?) Ok aku rase kesian kat die,tapi kalau die mati minggu ni, there will be extra bed in the hospital for other people. Tapi kan tadi lepas ward round, I walked out of the ward, pastu nampak husband of the lady yang sakit tu, he looked so small and meek. She's not going to make it through this week, how does he feel? Mungkin baru je kahwin. Oh bile tulis baru rase sedih. Bagus, nampaknye diri ku ini telah pandai membina benteng emosi dgn pesakit. Shit terenye BM aku. Minggu lepas ade sorang pesakit lelaki ni, die pun ade ape ntah, leukemia ke lymphoma, anyways, die pun mase jumpa die last week, mcm dh nak mati, this week mmg betul2 dh pergi to the next life. Minggu lepas aku pergi tgk post mortem. Ade nenek ni, pagi tu die kate sakit belakang, bawak pergi jumpa GP, GP ingat sakit air kencing (UTI= sakit air kencing?/pundi kencing/buah pinggang??? banyak sgt organ aku tak tau which one is which), pastu kasi nenek tu antibiotik, nenek tu keluar je klinik, rebah pastu mati dlm perjalan ke hospital. Rupenye die ade aortic aneurysm, maksudnye saluran darah die pecah. Aku nampak la badan die kene potong, darah tu mcm tasik dlm abdominal cavity die. Bau macam ayam. Mayat orang bau macam ayam. Aku tak suka masuk rumah mayat, aku tak suke tgk mayat orang, and I DONT LIKE CHICKEN.

DEATH DEATH DEATH

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE INSPIRED? These people will expire soon, this is so disturbing. I can't wait to go out of this place.




At least there are some more mince pies....NYUM!

My legal temporary high

Okay so I know there are infinitely more important things in life to solve than playing guitar eg: ending poverty, stop war, being green, finding peace with God...... which should actually be top of my list of things to do. Oh dear.

So I admit I'm probably the plainest of the plainest of the plainest of people, I'll always be a mediocre student and will be a mediocre doctor but this thing is my temporary high that I like, so please be supportive. I'm a nicer person to be with because I let my frustration out on the guitar.

Tricks I learn this week from our weekly guitar classes:

1. Anchor pinkie on the body of the guitar and pick using all of your fingers. Don't be lazy and use only your thumb and index finger, all fingers need to be dextrous.

2. Sing when you play so you keep up with the tempo; alternatively play along with the audio so that you're always in beat.

3. Chord progression. CHORD ProGressION. Can't be stressed enough.

I got these lovely guitar associated birthday presents from really kind people. Thank you! I appreciate them very much!

Thanks Farah!

aaaa....I don't the picture of it, but I got a lovely thick book of all guitar chords from Syafiq. Thank you! I will practice more.

To my calluses, you guys are ugly, but I love you so much. Keep laying down those collagen strands and make yourself fatter and harder. And please kill all of the pain and pressure receptors.

xx

SnoW and Guitar Converts

We're not through November yet and it's snowing now. I can foresee a long dark winter, oh I can't wait for Turkey trip it's going to be fun!

So anywhoo, I managed to convert more girls to be guitar freaks like moi. Woohoo, spread the addiction around, Bristol now, the Universe tomorrow. Oh I wish I had taken a picture of her guitar just now, it's a lovely Spanish made classical guitar bought at a charity shop. Somebody had been really disrespectful to it, the head was cracked in so many ways and there were bubbles on its body. It still sounds nice though, and I really enjoyed myself playing it. This addiction is spiraling out of control.


More stupid poems coming up.

The Moon is Chasing Us

Driving through the night,
We drove through the night,
The wind howled so,
In a loudly silent flow.

We said to each other,
Look hey look my dear,
The moon is chasing us.
Quick, he's right behind us!
He's up, he's down and he's all around,
Look he's smiling down,
As we drove through the town.

It's dark yet it's bright,
It's calm yet it's a fight,
With the silver shadows of the lonely lagoon,
We trade the sun for the rays of the moon,
Like the Northern Star, constant we will be,
Time can have our bodies,
But our minds will always be free.


xx

secret

This is a trick that works for me.



Slow Down! After the major emotional trauma of not being able to play C chord properly, it was all I practiced for 2 days, just try to get the C chord right and on the third day it miraculously got better. Just like that. My C chord sounds nice now. The fingers just know where they have to be to not mute the other strings and with the right amount of pressure, everything sounds like what they should sound like now.

Yes this is the way to go. Back to basics, because we want to play it right and not "sounds like it"

What the hell am I rumbling about?

Yeay guitar neck is fixed!

xx

Exciting yet Dispiriting.

Harumph! What's the point of playing the guitar if I can't even play the C chord right. It buzzes, it mutes, it's painful, and it still doesn't sound right. I've been lazy lately, because I'll put a capo in the 1st or 2nd fret to make it easier, but you're not training your fingers dummy!! Ergh, it's really annoying and very frustrating, it's an easy chord, everyone can do it, yet I can't do it properly. Even my barre chords sound better than my C chord. It has got to a point where I think there are only a few options available now:

a) Cut out the pad of my index finger so it doesn't mute the high E string

b) Practice until my fingers fall to pieces

c) Get an electric guitar because it doesn't sound too bad when I play it on the electric guitar

d) Get a short scale acoustic guitar because the chord sounds lovely on my mini 3/4 classical guitar.

e) Bare with it.

Some people think it's a pointless pursuit, but I feel that playing the guitar gives me a sense of achievement. Many a times I'm embarrassed to play with other players because I know I'll never be good enough, but I've learn to be thick skinned and just play. No inhibition whatsoever. I started from scratch and will be rubbish until I'm old enough to put this down but at least I have convinced myself that I tried!

I love Justin Sandercoe, he is a good guitar teacher, and I got this off his website. A friend introduced me to Steve Vai last year and what a surprise! He's very articulate. I think he says exactly how I feel about guitar so well. See, it's dedication as well as talent. Minus the talent, I might be able to get the dedication part right. Keep practicing!

The guitar buzzes so..

It's easy to be angry and muck about, but it's so much harder to be the bigger person. I guess being selfish is easier still.

Still angry, still think people are so selfish, I would never do that, but hey, selfishness is okay I guess. Maybe this is my burden I have to carry for a lifetime of not giving. I would never think it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to be a SHELL- FISH!

It's not right when the  strings still buzz!! Shit, I've got to get this fixed! Or I will die of ringing guitar strings.

xx

My baby is alive again..!

Yahooo! New strings and I learn how to restring the guitar!

during operation

So excited....!

Finished product

yeay!

so sad

On Sunday I had my first experience of playing rhythm guitar whilst another person plays the lead. That was fun but I messed up a lot which was stupid considering I could play that song ages ago. The nerves!

too nervous!

My phone's videocam is NOT impressive. Tut tut android. How are you going to challenge Apple? I can't record anything that sounds half decent on this!

I was so miserable because he was there so I ended up playing Go Away by Eisley more than a hundred times that day. My housemates must be raking up their ears by now. Sorry...

There is no solid ground. I am so confused.

Have you had the feeling where you feel like you are in between? Of right and wrong. Of black and white. It's difficult and sometimes I want to throw all of it away. Out from the white rays of the right ones. But I don't want to go into the darkness as well. Why can't I be gray? Why do I have to choose?

I heard lovely hymns from the church behind my house as I walked home this evening. Such a perfect ending to a good day. Thank you God.

You seemed so angry at me when I want to do something you don't approve of. Why? Because I can't be as good as you? Because you never have to face these inner demons that I battle everyday? You have your way, I have mine. I want to get to the end just as much as you do, but my path is different from yours. You don't have to save me. My guilt does not belong to you.

On a different note, my guitar needs restringing. Can't wait for the weekend to come! Yeehaw..new strings! New songs to learn! New people to play with!

Sleepless Insomniac

What an idiotic title. Ergh. I hate going back this late.

Anywhoos, Mr Postman has been very nice...this came in through the post.

Woo hoo!! Brightly coloured picks!!!!

No more messing around with missing picks....and trips to that really- really snotty Music Store. Hah!

And these took nearly 3 weeks to die. This ain't right. What chemicals do they put in that water?

After dinner date

3 weeks later

......... This place is so lovely.........

NABUN i DEDICATE this to YOU.....!!

I hang around with weird people.

Nabun had a major bitch fight on Thursday. I've never had a bitch fight before. Something happened between Nabun and her "friend".....somebody's not going to get a lift to the hospital now!!Nabun this song is for you. Please don't have a fight with me. I need a lift to Swindon nanti....

Dorks 1

Dorks 2

Dorks 3

Normal for once!

I need to study! Anyone else for Goo Goo Dolls 16th Nov O2 Academy? Or else I would have to go with Nabun only and it would be awkward because she's weird.

Sorry Nabun I really need that car ride!


xxxxxxxx

cats

I saw a lovely gray cat today, sniffing around the garbage bins. He was so adorable, so I picked him up and started to cuddle him like I always do to my cats back home. One of my neighbors came back as I was playing with him, so we decided to let him in because outside was freezing. He ran straight inside and up the stairs, he knew where my flat is!!

Adorable little kitty.... He ran around my flat like it was his house. I had to harden my heart to put him out again in the cold. I hope he has a place to go to tonight.

1 hour later, I realised what a big mistake that was. That cat probably hadn't had a bath for ages, my eyes were sore, my nose IS still running a marathon. BIG MISTAKE.

There's nothing I can do now except wait for the antihistamine to kick in.

I guess a lot of mistakes happens like this. Good intention, wrong method, people get hurt. And the worst is that I have to put a brave face on and bear whatever people say. Isn't guilt more than enough? .... Direct Eisley quote "we're made that way, made to brave the pain..."


Speaking of Eisley, I'm now learning to play Ambulance by Eisley (this band is so cool)

xx

paronychia

superficial infection lateral to the nail plate

 of the Left Index Finger

I've got paronychia from picking at my nails in the psychiatrist's office. It hurts to press on the strings. He must have put a curse on me. I had to do it to stop myself from dozing off and it's "...not appropriate to take notes whilst somebody is telling you their personal problems...." yada yada yada.....


Booooring.

xx

why girl why?

It's so frustrating when I've been practicing so hard and I  never get better. ;-(
There has to be a better way. Why do other people seem to be able to play well JUST LIKE THAT? Why? I practiced, I learned the chords, I read all the how-to's and yet  I'm still stagnant in these waters. My fingers are so ugly and painful and disfigured. I still cannot play this instrument!

My guitars.Oh such a loser, I don't even know how to rotate this!

I saw a lovely red electric guitar today in a charity shop. It costs 50 quid. Hmm tempting. But will need an amp though...must discuss with other people. Or maybe drag somebody to the music shop(s). Hmm...

I'm just stupid.

" video removed because it is socially unacceptable to record your friend's crush... aiseh... "

See? Other people can just pick up any guitar and play. A friend of mine just took the guitar and start playing. Why can't I have the confidence to do that? Why do my knuckles turn white every time I start playing? *sobs*

sigh.

my pathetic attempt at finger picking

Fingers are crucial for survival. Like duh, if it wasn't because of OPPOSABLE thumbs, I would be somewhere in Borneo eating bananas with my fellow orang utan mates. But my fingers are so uh pathetic though, no matter how hard I practice, I never get finger picking right. Haih.
When I first started to learn to play the guitar, my male buds said that I can never play because my fingers are too short and too fat. Maybe they're right.

uhh...the original song is actually 3 doors down's Here Without You.



This is definitely a sign that I should never EVER be allowed to touch a scalpel let alone cut somebody up.

Anyways, just a mental note to myself. PLEASE BURN THIS after MED SCHOOL.

I hate EPIDEMIOLOGY. I hate PUBLIC HEALTH. I hate STATISTICS. I hate MAth. This is way to complicated for my small brain.




Why do we need so many Maths anyway? I hate Mathematics sooo much. I hate Maths. I HATE MATHEMATICS! Next week will be paediatrics. Yeay!!

10 things I like about guitar...

1. The feeling you get when you strum the right chord.
2. How simple finger maneuvers create beautiful sounds.
3. The pride you get when you look at your callused fingers because it's all worth it.
4. You develop the ability to LISTEN. You get a sense of beat and tempo, you learn to change chords with the beat and you get to recognise chords in songs.
   
5. Your music repertoire will expand exponentially.
6. You will always have a guitar as a friend who doesn't complain, whine or let you down.
7. Guitar soothes you like nothing else could.
8. You get to sing and play along to songs that you like.
9. You learn that songs can be created, re-mixed and personalised. Nothing beats originality.
10. The pain that comes with hours of practicing barre chords does not compare to the happiness you get when you can play your barre chords correctly.
    

I love my guitar kapok so much. You may be cheap and of no brand, but to me you can still compare to other Fenders/ Gibson/Martin etc etc just cause you sound so good even when you're out of tune. I still need to change your strings though, will do it when I get back. And even though I've banged you around so much, there ain't no dens or scratches on your body. Everyone around me seems to own at least a Fender acoustic, I'm still hanging on to this old no-brand guitar. So hang in there a little bit. We've still got so many years to go! (at least until I have enough money to buy a Hummingbird! dream on- you have to eat frozen peas for a year kot kalau nak beli Hummingbird)

okay guitar dearie, i dedicate this song to you!!!

My Lovely- Eisley



xoxo

what does the word antsy mean?

I haven't been updating my blog in a while... but there were not many things i wanted to write about, vacation has microwaved my brain into mulch, and i'm bored. Well, guitar wise, one day I was strumming the guitar *cue Brick by Boring Brick by PARAMORE!!* and my pick slipped into the hole. Okay they cost like 50p each, (65p in that snotty old music room on Park Street..harumph!) but I wanted to retrieve it still. I GOOGLED "how to get pick out of guitar" and this came out!



Okay so I tried the first technique, shake-shake and quickly flip it over, and BAM! 2 PICKS got out of that hole! I didnt even know there were 2 picks in there! Thanks Justin!!

FYI, Justin is a great teacher, I learn a lot from his videos and he taught Katie Melua the guitar!

http://www.justinguitar.com/

On the more serious side, I've been kinda antsy these days ..... It's that time of the year again, Ramadhan... last year I bought 2 books on Ramadhan (thanks fardia I bought 1 because of you!) but only managed to finish reading one. It's always the same every year, really wanting to be a good person before Ramadhan, being kinda good during Ramadhan and undoing every good deed after Ramadhan. It's like Satan goes out of his way to make me bad. FINE. If I fail to be good again this year, I'll go to hell and beat your ass there. *mungkin kene marah diri sendiri dulu sebelum marah Setan*


Okay fine Satan. You'll see. I'll try and be good this year, and make you lose your party! I'll come around next year and laugh at your face.

oooh, it's time like this I feel really terrible for turning my back on some Islamic circles. I really need one right now.

I found this on the net. It speaks for itself.

Ten Useless Matters Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah Al-Fawa'id © 2004 Umm Al-Qura

There are ten useless matters:

1. Knowledge that is not acted on
2. The deed that has neither sincerity nor is based on following the righteous examples of others
3. Money that is hoarded, as the owner neither enjoys it during this life nor obtains any reward for it in the Hereafter
4. The heart that is empty of love and longing for Allah, and of seeking closeness to Him
5. A body that does not obey and serve Allah
6. Loving Allah without following His orders or seeking His pleasure
7. Time that is not spent in expiating sins or seizing opportunities to do good
8. A mind that thinks about useless matters
9. Serving those who do not bring you close to Allah, nor benefit you in your life
10. Hoping and fearing whoever is under the authority of Allah and in His hand; while he cannot bring any benefit or harm to himself, nor death, nor life; nor can he resurrect himself.

However the greater of these matters are wasting the heart and wasting time. Wasting the heart is done by preferring this worldly life over the Hereafter, and wasting time is done by having incessant hope. Destruction occurs by following one’s desires and having incessant hope, while all goodness is found in following the right path and preparing oneself to meet Allah.

How strange it is that when a servant of Allah has a [worldly] problem, he seeks help of Allah, but he never asks Allah to cure his heart before it dies of ignorance, neglect, fulfilling one’s desires and being involved in innovations. Indeed, when the heart dies, he will never feel the significance or impact of his sins.


Waaaaaa... do not waste yet another golden opportunity. God please help me!!

xooooooxo

Fiance's Birthday 22/07/1987

Happy birthday Fiance!!! I hope you have a good one this year. Can't believe we've never celebrated your birthday together. Oh well, it makes no sense to be all sad and down for not being able to celebrate your birthday with you. It was a long road from us skinny (or not so skinny) kids in college to where we are now, and the road doesn't stop here. We've got all of the adventures the world can offer to go through together, so I can't wait!! Anyway, yeah this is my inner girlish-ness on the guitar on a cold thursday morning. Please don't laugh. If you can listen to it until the end you memang best.

BYe!! nak pegi nerding kat library!










xx